forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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