So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
