I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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