You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
