So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
