So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
