Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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