I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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