Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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