that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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