Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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