We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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