Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
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