im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
whose parrot is this?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
