The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
