Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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