M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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