Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
