so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
