Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
