you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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