I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
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I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
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I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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