I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
