he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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