There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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