I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
