On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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