Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
