I CAN MOONWALK!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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