if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
