She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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