i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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