don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
