why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
