having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I would fuck him just for his dog
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
