Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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