She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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