we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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