weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i love accidental penises.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize