how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
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Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.