he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
