just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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