Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs