Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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