Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."

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  (914): Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting." http://tfl.nu/dhfp
  Replies (27) Good night (4188) Bad night (2071)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.

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  (647): We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda. http://tfl.nu/2f76
  Replies (8) Good night (4113) Bad night (1063)
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  (213): View more from California

  there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.

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  (213): there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/2p84
  Replies (11) Good night (2704) Bad night (1023)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.

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  (319): Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours. http://tfl.nu/m0o9
  Replies (19) Good night (3779) Bad night (796)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?

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  (917): mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right? http://tfl.nu/fjzr
  Replies (7) Good night (1296) Bad night (823)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke

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  (215): It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke http://tfl.nu/1v10
  Replies (1) Good night (513) Bad night (1321)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know

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  (+44): Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know http://tfl.nu/1326
  Replies (5) Good night (1504) Bad night (546)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.

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  (307): just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT. http://tfl.nu/ndey
  Replies (29) Good night (2143) Bad night (569)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword

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  (817): And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword http://tfl.nu/z2rx
  Replies (1) Good night (673) Bad night (983)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg

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  (419): Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg http://tfl.nu/keiy
  Replies (1) Good night (1247) Bad night (358)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.

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  (617): The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight. (1-617): Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it. http://tfl.nu/ikoi
  Replies (7) Good night (1786) Bad night (440)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(

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  (419): She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :( http://tfl.nu/482z
  Replies (3) Good night (394) Bad night (793)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.

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  (989): No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to. http://tfl.nu/2okj
  Replies (2) Good night (465) Bad night (250)
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  (760): View more from California

  Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.

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  (760): Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/884t
  Replies (0) Good night (608) Bad night (500)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.

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  (512): Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart. http://tfl.nu/cqbu
  Replies (4) Good night (486) Bad night (262)

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