hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i think i have herpe
just one?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
