update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
sarcasm needs its own font
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
