In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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