I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
