Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
