Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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