I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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