You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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