i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
