if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We are two peas in an std pod
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
