Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize