Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
