You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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