Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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