Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
