hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize