So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
