I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize